Funny Movie Quotes
100. “I love my dead gay son. —Heathers
99. “Where was ya, Wang? We was worried.” — Murder by Death
98. “Shut that cunt’s mouth or I’ll come over there and fuckstart her head!” —The Way of the Gun
97. “How am I not myself?” — I Heart Huckabees
96. “Welcome to Debbie Country.” — Singles
95. “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!”- - Zoolander
94. “Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.’” — Spinal Tap
93. “This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.” — Swingers
92. “I hate you, and I hate your ass face!” — Waiting for Guffman
91. “Back and to the left.” — JFK
90. “No, I said ‘allo,’ but that’s close enough.” — Labyrinth
89. “That’s bee-YOU-tee-ful, what is that, velvet?” — Coming to America
88. “It’s a moral imperative.” —Real Genius
87. “Go do that voodoo that you do so well!” — Blazing Saddles
86. “No dice, soldier.” —Brick
85. “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.” — Conan the Barbarian
84. “Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.” — Uncle Buck
83. “Do you concur?” “Damnit! Why didn’t I concur?!” — Catch Me If You Can
82. “The place where a U.S. soldier goes to defecate, relieve himself, open his bowel, shit, fart, dump, crap, and unload, is called the latrine. The la-trine, from the French.” — Biloxi Blues
81. “Big bottoms, big bottoms, talk about mudflaps, my girls got ‘em.” — Spinal Tap
80. “My life is as good as an Abba song. It’s as good as Dancing Queen.” — Muriel’s Wedding
79. “Guns are for show. Knives are for pros.” — Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
78. “I shall call him Squishy. And he shall be mine. And he shall be MY Squishy.” — Finding Nemo
77. “I’ll sleep with you for a meatball.” —Victor/Victoria
76. “Follow me, or perish, sweater monkeys.” — Bring it On
75. “What’s a nubian?” — Chasing Amy
74. “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster by your side, kid.” — Star Wars
73. “You’ve got red on you.” — Shaun of the Dead
72. “I touched the earth, and he loved me back.” — Secretary
71. “Not you, fat Jesus.” — The Hangover
70. “This pile of shit has a thousand eyes.” — Stand By Me
69. “Not the beeeees!.” — Wicker Man
68. “She’s been fucked more times than she’s had a hot meal.” — Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
67. “I can’t believe I just gave my panties to a geek.” — Sixteen Candles
66. “It’s a veg-e-ta-ble.” —My Blue Heaven
65. “Goddammit, I’d piss on a spark plug if I thought it’d do any good! ” — War Games
64. “I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How have you been?” — Grosse Pointe Blank
63. “Now, you’ve got a corpse in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it.” — Pulp Fiction
62. “Ever since I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster.” — Goodfellas
61. “Wolfman has nards!” — Monster Squad
60. “He’s an angel. He’s an angel straight from heaven!” — Raising Arizona
59. “Those who are tardy do not get fruit cup.” — High Anxiety
58. “Somebody’s got to go back and get a shitload of dimes.” — Blazing Saddles
57. “You idiots! These are not them! You’ve captured their stunt doubles!” — Spaceballs
56. “Bratwurst? Aren’t we the optimist?” —10 Things I Hate About You
55. “Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.” — American Psycho
54. “I take your fucking bullets!” - -Scarface
53. “I’m kind of a big deal.” — Anchorman
52. “Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes it rains.” — Bull Durham
51. “We deal in lead, friend.” — The Magnificent Seven
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Funny Movie Quotes
Funny Movie Quotes
50. “I don’t know, I mostly just hurt people.” —Alien Resurrection
49. “Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.” — Better Off Dead
48. “All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep-dickin’.” — Chasing Amy
47. “Let’s shag ass.” —The Royal Tenenbaums
46. “That’s atomized colloidal silver. It’s being pumped through the building’s air conditioning system, you cock-juggling thundercunt!” — Blade: Trinity
45. “I don’t understand. All my life I’ve been waiting for someone and when I find her, she’s … she’s a fish.” — Splash
44. “Demented and sad, but social.” — The Breakfast Club
43. “This is so bad it’s gone past good and back to bad again.” — Ghost World
42. “GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!” — The Goonies
41. “Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don’t fall out of the sky, you know.” — Dogma
40. “They’ve done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.” — Anchorman
39. “Richie, would you do me a favor and eat my pussy for me… please?” — From Dusk til Dawn
38. “I’m hungry. Let’s get a taco.” — Reservoir Dogs
37. “They’re coming to get you, Barbara!” — Night of the Living Dead
36. “Maybe you’re the plucky comic relief.” — Galaxy Quest
35. “We were frightened of being left alone for the rest of our lives. Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26…we were of that disposition.” — High Fidelity
34. “I used to fuck guys like you in prison” — Roadhouse
33. “Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you.” — Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
32. “Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they’re fascist.” — Bull Durham
31. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room! — Dr. Strangelove
30. “Shut the fuck up, Donny.” — The Big Lebowski
29. “If God did not want them shorn, he would not have made them sheep.” — The Magnificent Seven
28. “He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I’m afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died.” — Clue
27. “Nobody fucks with the Jesus.” — The Big Lebowski
26. “Meet me in Montauk.” — Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
25. “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?” — Heathers
24. “That’s just the way it crumbles … cookie wise.” - The Apartment
23. “Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.” — The Rock
22. “Why didn’t somebody tell me my ass was so big? — Spaceballs
21. “I aim to misbehave.” — Serenity
20. “People are so stupid I can’t bear to be around them anymore.” —Imaginary Heroes
19. “Fuck my cock!” — Wet Hot American Summer
18. “I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.” — The Big Lebowski
17. “The swan ate my baby!” — Drop Dead Gorgeous
16. “I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.” — Anchorman
15. “My grammy never gave gifts. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.” — Annie Hall
14. “The Hammer is my penis.” — Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
13. “The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.” — Almost Famous
12. “SQUIRREL!” — Up
11. “Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive.” — Airplane
10. “Inconceivable!” — The Princess Bride
9. “I’ve been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.” — High Fidelity
8. “My God. I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.” — Fight Club
7. “You’re killin’ me Smalls!” — The Sandlot
6. “I was born a poor black child.” — The Jerk
5. “Ray, next time someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!” — Ghostbusters
4. “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” — The Shawshank Redemption
3. “I want my two dollars!” — Better Off Dead
2. “Son, you got a panty on your head.” — Raising Arizona
1. “It ain’t white boy day is it?” — True Romance
50. “I don’t know, I mostly just hurt people.” —Alien Resurrection
49. “Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.” — Better Off Dead
48. “All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep-dickin’.” — Chasing Amy
47. “Let’s shag ass.” —The Royal Tenenbaums
46. “That’s atomized colloidal silver. It’s being pumped through the building’s air conditioning system, you cock-juggling thundercunt!” — Blade: Trinity
45. “I don’t understand. All my life I’ve been waiting for someone and when I find her, she’s … she’s a fish.” — Splash
44. “Demented and sad, but social.” — The Breakfast Club
43. “This is so bad it’s gone past good and back to bad again.” — Ghost World
42. “GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!” — The Goonies
41. “Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don’t fall out of the sky, you know.” — Dogma
40. “They’ve done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.” — Anchorman
39. “Richie, would you do me a favor and eat my pussy for me… please?” — From Dusk til Dawn
38. “I’m hungry. Let’s get a taco.” — Reservoir Dogs
37. “They’re coming to get you, Barbara!” — Night of the Living Dead
36. “Maybe you’re the plucky comic relief.” — Galaxy Quest
35. “We were frightened of being left alone for the rest of our lives. Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26…we were of that disposition.” — High Fidelity
34. “I used to fuck guys like you in prison” — Roadhouse
33. “Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you.” — Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
32. “Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they’re fascist.” — Bull Durham
31. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room! — Dr. Strangelove
30. “Shut the fuck up, Donny.” — The Big Lebowski
29. “If God did not want them shorn, he would not have made them sheep.” — The Magnificent Seven
28. “He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I’m afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died.” — Clue
27. “Nobody fucks with the Jesus.” — The Big Lebowski
26. “Meet me in Montauk.” — Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
25. “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?” — Heathers
24. “That’s just the way it crumbles … cookie wise.” - The Apartment
23. “Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.” — The Rock
22. “Why didn’t somebody tell me my ass was so big? — Spaceballs
21. “I aim to misbehave.” — Serenity
20. “People are so stupid I can’t bear to be around them anymore.” —Imaginary Heroes
19. “Fuck my cock!” — Wet Hot American Summer
18. “I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.” — The Big Lebowski
17. “The swan ate my baby!” — Drop Dead Gorgeous
16. “I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.” — Anchorman
15. “My grammy never gave gifts. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.” — Annie Hall
14. “The Hammer is my penis.” — Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
13. “The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.” — Almost Famous
12. “SQUIRREL!” — Up
11. “Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive.” — Airplane
10. “Inconceivable!” — The Princess Bride
9. “I’ve been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.” — High Fidelity
8. “My God. I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.” — Fight Club
7. “You’re killin’ me Smalls!” — The Sandlot
6. “I was born a poor black child.” — The Jerk
5. “Ray, next time someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!” — Ghostbusters
4. “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” — The Shawshank Redemption
3. “I want my two dollars!” — Better Off Dead
2. “Son, you got a panty on your head.” — Raising Arizona
1. “It ain’t white boy day is it?” — True Romance
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Funny Movie Quotes
Funny Movie Quotes
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Lois: How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.
The Addams Family
Pugsley: We're not shy!
Wednesday: We're contagious.
Addams Family Values
(Gomez refers to the girl popping out of the cake at a bachelor party)
Was she in there before you baked it?
Addams Family Values
Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby?
Pugsley: We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him.
Wednesday: Especially his head.
Addams Family Values
Little Girl: ...and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too.
Wednesday: They had sex.
Airplane
There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
Animal Crackers
Spaulding: (to two ladies) Let's get married!
Mrs. Rittenhouse: The three of us? Why, that's bigamy!
Spaulding: Yes! And it's big of me, too!
Arthur
I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
As long as people are still having premarital sex with many anonymous partners while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence free environment, I'll be sound as a pound!
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Lois: How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.
The Addams Family
Pugsley: We're not shy!
Wednesday: We're contagious.
Addams Family Values
(Gomez refers to the girl popping out of the cake at a bachelor party)
Was she in there before you baked it?
Addams Family Values
Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby?
Pugsley: We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him.
Wednesday: Especially his head.
Addams Family Values
Little Girl: ...and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too.
Wednesday: They had sex.
Airplane
There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
Animal Crackers
Spaulding: (to two ladies) Let's get married!
Mrs. Rittenhouse: The three of us? Why, that's bigamy!
Spaulding: Yes! And it's big of me, too!
Arthur
I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
As long as people are still having premarital sex with many anonymous partners while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence free environment, I'll be sound as a pound!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Funny Movie Quotes
Funny Movie Quotes
* 'I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.'
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
* Reporter: ‘Tell me, how did you find America? John Lennon: Turned left at Greenland.’
A Hard Day's Night
* Mrs. White: 'Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.'
Clue
* Harry: 'Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.'
Dumb and Dumber
* 'There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?'
Airplane
* 'Name's Barf. I'm a Mog, half man half dog. I'm my own best friend.'
Spaceballs
* Adam/Felicia: ‘Oh for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix, someone needs the wood!'
The Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert
* 'The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But, but, think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.'
Love and Death
* ‘Do you prefer fashion victim or ensemblelly challenged?’
Clueless
* Col. Mustard: ‘You lure men to their deaths, like a spider with flies!’
Miss White: ‘Flies are where men are most vulnerable.’
Clue
* ‘You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.'
Duck Soup
* George: 'It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.'
My Best Friend's Wedding
* Forrest Gump: (referring to Apple Computers) 'He got me invested in some kinda fruit company.'
Forrest Gump
* Edgar Friendly: 'I'm no leader. I do what I have to do…sometimes people come with me.'
Demolition Man
* ‘I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.’
Duck Soup
* 'I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.'
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
* Reporter: ‘Tell me, how did you find America? John Lennon: Turned left at Greenland.’
A Hard Day's Night
* Mrs. White: 'Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.'
Clue
* Harry: 'Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.'
Dumb and Dumber
* 'There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?'
Airplane
* 'Name's Barf. I'm a Mog, half man half dog. I'm my own best friend.'
Spaceballs
* Adam/Felicia: ‘Oh for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix, someone needs the wood!'
The Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert
* 'The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But, but, think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.'
Love and Death
* ‘Do you prefer fashion victim or ensemblelly challenged?’
Clueless
* Col. Mustard: ‘You lure men to their deaths, like a spider with flies!’
Miss White: ‘Flies are where men are most vulnerable.’
Clue
* ‘You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.'
Duck Soup
* George: 'It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.'
My Best Friend's Wedding
* Forrest Gump: (referring to Apple Computers) 'He got me invested in some kinda fruit company.'
Forrest Gump
* Edgar Friendly: 'I'm no leader. I do what I have to do…sometimes people come with me.'
Demolition Man
* ‘I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.’
Duck Soup
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
40 Year Old Virgin Quotes
"She had hands as big as Andre the Giant, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls."
Andy
Trish: "Do you have protection?"
Andy: "I don't believe in guns."
"Really? All your girlfriends wanted to have sex with virgins too? That's funny... I didn't even know you g-girls talked like that. I think my first time might be your best time too. Well I knew it, you know what? I knew that you'd react that way and I knew that you would want to lead me through my first sexual encounter will all the compassion and care that someone would give to their soulmate."
Andy
"Know how I knew you were gay? You like Coldplay."
David
"If she starts waxing his pubes, I'm outta here."
Cal
"Do you know how I know you're gay? Because you are holding each other ever so gently."
Haziz
"He sold his old toys for over half a million dollars! We gotta get some toys!"
Jay
"I touched a guy's balls once in Hebrew School."
Cal
"Keep your bitch on a leash."
Andy
"From now on, your dick is my dick. I'm gonna get you laid."
Jay
Andy
Trish: "Do you have protection?"
Andy: "I don't believe in guns."
"Really? All your girlfriends wanted to have sex with virgins too? That's funny... I didn't even know you g-girls talked like that. I think my first time might be your best time too. Well I knew it, you know what? I knew that you'd react that way and I knew that you would want to lead me through my first sexual encounter will all the compassion and care that someone would give to their soulmate."
Andy
"Know how I knew you were gay? You like Coldplay."
David
"If she starts waxing his pubes, I'm outta here."
Cal
"Do you know how I know you're gay? Because you are holding each other ever so gently."
Haziz
"He sold his old toys for over half a million dollars! We gotta get some toys!"
Jay
"I touched a guy's balls once in Hebrew School."
Cal
"Keep your bitch on a leash."
Andy
"From now on, your dick is my dick. I'm gonna get you laid."
Jay
Monday, January 11, 2010
Funny movie quotes
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
Airplane!
"Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb."
Dark Helmet, Space Balls
"I know they were just kids...but man we beat the fuck out of them!"
Dogma
"I don't know what to say, so I'll just say what's in my heart... Baboom, Baboom, Baboom."
Mel Brooks
"Name's Barf. I'm a Mog, half man half dog. I'm my own best friend."
Spaceballs
"Glue... very powerful stuff."
The Blues Brothers
Airplane!
"Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb."
Dark Helmet, Space Balls
"I know they were just kids...but man we beat the fuck out of them!"
Dogma
"I don't know what to say, so I'll just say what's in my heart... Baboom, Baboom, Baboom."
Mel Brooks
"Name's Barf. I'm a Mog, half man half dog. I'm my own best friend."
Spaceballs
"Glue... very powerful stuff."
The Blues Brothers
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